Back in the days in Savannah. I was elected to be a staff member of the Chinese Student Association on my first year in school. Yea first year which isn't normal. My "absolutely" open, out-going, talkative personality at the time made me a perfect person for that role. I love to connect to people, help people and be on top of things. I was that "go-to" person for most of the new comers. The main crew for most of the parties. I was friends with many different groups and always tried to bring different groups together to have some good times. That was me at that time.
Up next was my life in New York. The urge of bringing people together was still there so I'd always invite different group of friends together and let them mingle the way out. I loved to be that person and was proud to be that person why people were connected. I also loved to dress up, wear makeup and walk on heels. I had a great time eating out, having brunch with a group of friends over the weekend, checking out art shows&exhibitions, hanging out at a coffee/tea shop whole day and clubbing with the girls late at night and looking for pizza or taco after. That was me at that time.
Moving from New York to Los Angeles, I kept a few things and dropped a few as well. I always remember that I was judged by my L.A. friends at the beginning by wearing too much black. They said, "It's L.A., You look like a New Yorker". I began to dress differently to fit in. Making friends in a new place was never a problem for me, the out-going and talkative me. I soon became the person who would plan the group activities every weekend. It's Los Angeles, my lifestyle had a dramatic change, too. Having a car had let me pick up more outdoor activities such as surfing and snowboarding. I never miss the life in New York too much. If I remember it right, I moved to L.A. in the age of 29, last time I went clubbing in L.A. was the "important" 30th birthday party of mine. After that, my desire of clubbing and being glamorous had gone down, at the same time the amount of love for snowboarding and surfing had grown ridiculously large, it's something that you would call "passion".
I began to spend a lot of time in the mountain and at the beach. It had quickly become a routine of my life. I slowly stopped wearing makeup because I wanted to be able to rub my face with my hands when surfing or snowboarding. It would be a disaster if I rub my eyes with eyeliner and mascara on. Can you imagine? I knew I'd look good with it on but it seemed unnecessary to me. I was more comfortable without it. As my life in L.A. had gone on, I had felt the complication with my close friends back in New York. The communications between me and them were less and less just because I weren't involved in the events and our common interests were not the same anymore. One day, I even found out that one of them unfriended me on facebook. "Really? All those girls time back in New York were nothing. My effort of bringing people together were nothing to you. My surprise visit to your birthday party were not enough to keep me on the friends list." My reaction to it was disappointed, and my feelings were definitely hurt.
I had to admit that friendship has its own life span. It's all about the moment really.
Who I have become now? I kinda took a step back or maybe just started to not invest so much on building a good friendship because down the line when I move away again, the friendship would fade away most of the time. I couldn't find a good reason to enjoy the moment with friends or trying to make new friends knowing that couple years after the friendship will not be the same. Looking at those old pictures last night definitely had me wonder about my choice of being surrounded by short-term friends to one or two life-long friends. It's a tough one.
